Before I had my children I worked for a tech PR company. I used to know my Apple TV from my Blackberry apps, then I had children and the closest I got was choosing between an iCandy Cherry or Pear.
I’ve now realised that at some point I have lost touch with how anything works. Or the solution to how to get things to work better.
- I have a combi microwave which I could roast a chicken in, but never sees more action than a 30 sec zap to reheat my tea
- I have a cooker which has such a complex alarm, I’ve resorted to buying an egg timer from the £1 shop and using that
- I have a video camera, a camera and a diary because I don’t trust my phone can do all these things (and yet I only use my phone)
- I’ve never actively looked on YouTube
- Or seen something on Netflix (when it comes to it, not even sure I know how it works – does some sort of delivery boy arrive with your purchases?)
- Or Facetimed someone (what does this involve? Is there a countdown? Does it involve something sexual?)
And don’t even get me started on the games my son now wants to play on the computer. Minecraft (?). Candy Crush (?). Where’s Tetris? Why can’t he give the Sega Megadrive a spin?
I’m hoping at some point I overlooked the chapter In How To Be a Parent when it comes to ‘catching up with everyone else’, ‘coping with things more complicated than a camera’ and ‘How to get your computer screen to turn back round again’.
Otherwise I’m screwed.