blog · children · lifestyle · mum · parent

How to home wax (in 32 steps)

The sun is out! Hurrah. This of course means there’s a chance (albeit small) that some of us might be trying to get our pins out. Or, if you’re lucky like me, you have to bare pretty much all when you do the weekly swim with your littlest one.

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A pot of evil

A friend of mine (no longer after this episode I may add) suggested I try home waxing.

Because I like to inflict pain on myself voluntarily I decided to attack the pins.

If you fancy giving it a go, I’ve included step-by-step instructions on how to do it too.

Here’s how –

  1. Heat up wax
  2. Test wax with finger
  3. Read on side not to test wax with finger
  4. Burn finger
  5. Swear
  6. Test wax with spatula, hotter than sun
  7. Child One appears to ask what you’re doing
  8. Explain Mummy needs to get rid of hair on legs
  9. Child One shrugs, asks for a snack
  10. Produce snack
  11. Return to wax to find spatula has stuck to pot
  12. Reheat wax
  13. Slather on leg
  14. Scream as didn’t check temperature
  15. Child Two appears, ‘are you really putting candles on your leg?’
  16. Rip off wax, which has gone cold
  17. Leave all hairs on leg
  18. Child Two sits on floor watching as you yelp
  19. Distract Child Two by promises of chocolate if she goes and plays somewhere else
  20. Slather on wax
  21. Wax drips down leg
  22. Gets stuck on mat in bathroom
  23. Go to wipe up wax
  24. Knock pot on to floor
  25. Step on to hot wax
  26. Scream blue murder
  27. Child One reappears, promise to give him chocolate too if he goes and plays somewhere else
  28. Attempt to wash wax off self and floor
  29. Bin pot of wax
  30. Check out results
  31. Wonder who replaced legs with a plucked chicken
  32. Decide to eat the children’s chocolate

 

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